Accidental Murder

I threw up in the neighbor's prized rosebushes last night.

There are many reasons that a person might have for throwing up in shrubbery. They could have overindulged in their favorite alcoholic beverage (my poison of choice is a light wine); they could have ordered the Sumo Special at their local fast-food Japanese joint. Perhaps they just got off a forty-five minute ride on the Tilt-a-Whirl and need somewhere to release their excitement.

But as for me, it was for an entirely different reason…

I had committed murder.

I want to make it known right now that I am not a bad person! I do my taxes on time, commute to work, feed my cat regularly, and make sure to wear clean socks to business meetings. I have never stolen candy from a child, laughed when an old person fell, or flipped anyone off in traffic. No, I'm just your Average Joe with a boring past and a bleak future. I have never had a reason to murder another living soul.

Until last night.